| A Mother's Story
by Val Proctor The first two weeks after Stephen's accident are very much a blur. Stephen in a coma; doctors telling us he had a 2000 to 1 chance of coming out of it; doctors fighting for his life; Family and friends gathering around telling us that where there's life there's hope; everybody praying for Stephen. After two weeks of Stephen's coma I remember Lewis running to tell me that Steve had opened his eyes. It was something I had prayed for every minute of the day but no one could have prepared me for that moment when I walked into his room. I don't know what I expected but while Stephen lay in his bed in a coma he looked just as he always did when he was asleep; now he was lying with his eyes open but there was nothing there, he looked as though he was dead. At that time and for a few days after, my feelings, thoughts and emotions on how he was were very mixed. Indeed, looking back on those days, I still feel guilty about some of my thoughts but I still kept praying for some miracle and I never gave up hope, even though every time we saw a doctor he would either shrug his shoulders or give us some more bad news. Our families were with us most of the time; when we were down they were always there to pick us up and make us believe in Steve and not the doctors. As the weeks went by Stephen had pneumonia a number of times and had to have a tracheotomy to allow access to his lungs. However, he reacted badly with the anaesthetic and had to be resusci tated a number of times. Looking back it's as though I was going through a nightmare. I know I was with Steve all the way but it still felt as though I was living in a fog. Things began to settle down for a while. He started to move his head when people entered his room and though there was still no recognition in his eyes I was sure he knew who we were. The doc tors then delivered another blow to knock us down. They told us that what we saw was what we were going to get. I thought, I don't know how much more they can |
do to us, when we are trying to
be so positive in all we thought and did for Steve. It was then that I decided
to keep my distance from all doctors. If I saw one coming towards me I would
do an about turn; even when they entered Stephen's room I left. One day
when we went up to the ward there were a couple of nurses and physios in
Steve's room with what they called a tilt board, it looked like a door with
straps on. They said it was to see how his balance was. They lay Steve on
the board, strapped his arms and legs tight then began to tilt the board
to an upright position. I will never forget the look on his face as the
board became upright. His head flopped to one side, he was dribbling from
his mouth, he looked as though he was being crucified. It was to me to be
a cruel and unnecessary thing to do at this stage of his recovery. I left
the ward once again in tears. A speech therapist came onto the ward one day and came over to talk to Stephen but he just looked through her. She stayed chatting with me for a while, then got out a board with the alphabet on. She put it in front of him. She said she knew it sounded silly but would he show her which way he spelled his name. He looked at the board then spelt out Stephen with his finger, he then looked at me and spelt out Mum. Tears rolling down my face, I asked him if he could remember the name of his dog. He got as far as pointing out the letters RAF then he turned away. That was a very happy and exciting moment as I now knew for definite that he did have thoughts and memories. The name of his dog is Raffles. Another very happy memory from the early days was when we had him out in the wheelchair in the hospital grounds. His dad asked him if he could see the flowers and blossom on the trees. Steve leaned forward in his chair and picked a flower, he gave it to me. When Steve went to Hunter Moor rehabilitation unit it was a living nightmare. At first he would not sleep in his bed, he would sleep on small cane settees in the day lounge. No one could do anythingwith him he had become so violent and he was having quite a number of fits now, which I found very difficult to cope with at first. |
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